I have been in Kansas visiting family. Spring in the Midwest is no joke. There were tornado warnings, sirens going off at noon, sideswiping rain, and hail. It's beautiful. It's chaos. I miss it. I can't believe I'm going to ride a horse through it. I kept envisioning myself hunkered down on a horse out there, rain jacket over my saddle, rain pelting my hat, hail bouncing off, thunder shaking everything sounding like gun shots. I have to be honest, it's a little frightening but I get a giant jolt of excitement! When I was a kid I would go out in the wheat fields during storms and scream and run and dance in the thunder. My old friend who gave me my first medicine feather told me the Thunder Beings were dancing with me. I've felt pretty disconnected from spirituality lately, but I want to re-connect! I've been wanting to pray to my ancestors all my life, but it's hard when you don't know who they are or what they did. I was sad the other night because I watched Hidalgo and when he thought he was going to die in the middle of the horse race he called on his ancestors and they surrounded him. I don't know how to call mine. I used to think they were Cherokee, now I found out they were Shawnee. Some were Pure'pecha from Michoacan, I don't know any of their songs. I did a lot of ceremonies with the Lakota and I know some of their songs but I know I'm not Lakota. I light candles in Cathedrals for my mom and I know the powers of Universal love are there for everyone. My father was German. He passed away a few years ago. Every year on the anniversary of his death I always meet a man who talks to me about animals or fish. My dad loved fishing. He was a noodler, catching catfish by hand. Last year I was on the Pine Ridge Reservation and a man walked up to me and asked if he could sit down. He said he wanted to sing a song to me that he used to sing to his daughter. He couldn't sing it to her anymore and would I please listen. It was so beautiful. It was a lullaby. I guess I do have a song. Universal love.
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